Different Yet the Same, and that's Okay

When I was pregnant with Brinnley we lived in Rexburg and I was doing my student teaching in Ashton. That means 5 days a week I had an hour to talk to the baby girl inside me and to wonder what she was going to be like. I often wondered if she would like the same things I like and if her personality would be similar to mine. The answer to those questions is yes and no. I admit that I was excited to share things with Brinnley that were important to me when I was little. I spent hours upon hours playing Barbies and dolls. I loved to play school. And I loved to put on concerts in the living room. For Christmas two years ago I spent days perusing all of the doll shelves in stores within a half hour of our home searching for the perfect Cabbage Patch doll. I have 3 from when I was a little girl and they were well loved. I wanted Brinnley to have one of her own that she could love as much as I loved mine. But when Christmas morning came I found she was less excited about it than I was hoping.

My baby is 5 now. And this is the conclusion I have come to. In our personalities, we are quite a bit different. Brinnley is confident, independent, and brave. I wasn't those things when I was her age. I was more reserved. But in other things we are similar. Brinnley is always concerned about others and always asking if there is anything she can do to help people. I have been told I am like that. Our likes too are similar and also different as well. While Brinnley is not as crazy about dolls and Barbies as I was, there are other things that we share a love for. We both love music. We love to color. We both use our imaginations. But rather than play house like I always did, Brinnley plays prince and princess. Where I was always the girl, Brinnley prefers to play the prince. (I think that preference comes form the fact that she wants to wear the cape and hold the sword. She was thrilled when Barbie and the Three Musketeers came out. Girls wearing capes, riding horses, and wielding swords? Awesome!) I prefer bright and colorful in anything and everything. Brinnley does too except for her stuffed animals. A horse needs to look like a horse. No tie dye please!

As a mother, some of these things took a while for me to embrace. It was hard to see that my daughter didn't love all of the things I did as a little girl. And of course I tried for a while to encourage her toward my preferences (chose the brightly colored stuffed animal!) But I have come to realize that we are individuals and with that comes a difference in preferences. I have learned that as a parent my job is to teach my children truth and love them unconditionally. So when Brinnley prefers playing soccer over dancing ballet, I say great, let's do it. She is making a choice that is fit for her. I hope that as my children grow they will do things that they like and that bring true happiness and joy and they will know that even if I may not like the same things they do, I will support them and encourage them. (So, if Porter chooses to play football, I will be there and I will learn to love it!)