Life Lessons

Do you ever get the feeling you are a rat on a stationary wheel, constantly running and yet getting nowhere? Or maybe it is a more noticeable feeling of frustration, like hitting your head into a brick wall. Welcome to my life for the past month. While I was in Idaho I had some time to reflect on things in my life that I would like to do better at. The second day we were back in Missouri, Chant and I sat down to write some goals for our family and for us as a couple. I of course added to the list things that I personally would like to do better on.

That would have been the 9th of September. Now here it is, the 10th of October. In some areas I feel like I have grown in leaps and bounds. Example: cooking. Chant has always been the cook in our home or at best we were co-partners in the endeavor. One of my goals was to make dinner by myself every night. I have done surprisingly well at this, considering I do not enjoy cooking. I have been making dinner for my family by myself with the exception of weekends when Chant is home and then I let him help me ;) A strange thing has happened to me. I am actually starting to enjoy cooking. Possibly that is because the more time I spend in the kitchen the more comfortable I am becoming. I could also say that having a list of meals to choose from has helped. (Thanks Mom and Tracy.) Knowing what to make was always the hardest part.

So I have had success in one area, but what about the others. I probably set myself up for failure when I made my list of goals two pages long. I started off full of enthusiasm and I was actually doing okay at conquering all of my goals at once. That lasted about 3 days. Then I became discouraged because I wasn't able to do it all. And that lead to feeling like a failure, which led to occasional thoughts that I was a bad person because I have weakness. So I started in a downward spiral.

But yesterday was a turning point. Yesterday I had an amazing experience. I finally felt so overwhelmed and discouraged that I asked Chant to give me a blessing. During the blessing I felt a weight removed from me. I was reminded that we are all given weaknesses so that we can learn from them. When we recognize our weaknesses and try to turn them into strengths, we are presented with an opportunity for spiritual growth. Having weaknesses does not make me a bad person, it makes me human. What I need to do is not let myself fall into a negative mindset and let those weaknesses drag me down. I need to face them head on with a good attitude and "Try a little harder to be a little better." (Gordon B. Hinckley) Even if I am only making baby steps in the right direction, at least I am moving forward instead of standing still or sliding backwards.

And so today begins a new day. It is a day full of potential and possibility. The question is, what will I make of it. The canvas is white and the possibilities are endless.