What Matters Most

December 26, 2006 Chant, Brinnley, Ainsley, and I arrived at our new home in Manchester, Missouri. We only lived there for 4 months, but I have been thinking about that short span of my life a lot lately. It was four years ago that I left my family and moved to a new place so far away. I was so unsure of myself and nervous about being so far from family and not knowing anyone. It was a hard time for me. I didn't make friends there and I felt so alone. But nestled among the hard times are some of my most precious memories of my girls. They got me through those long days while Chant was at school. The master bedroom had a wall-to-wall closet and the sliding closet doors were mirrors. I took the laundry to the bedroom and sang primary songs while folding laundry as Brinnley played in the closet and Ainsley rolled around on the floor. Brinnley loved to line our shoes up. They were always perfectly straight. While folding and singing I would look out the window. We had a beautiful tree in our front yard and the icicles hanging from it were so beautiful. As spring came the icicles were replaces with pink blossoms. That tree was magnificent. So beautiful! I loved the view from that room, both inside and out. My girls and that tree brought me immeasurable joy. Sometimes I miss those moments.

Now four years later I feel like some things are the same but so much is not. I have swapped my gorgeous tree for a spectacular view of the mountains. I have swapped a bedroom for a loft. I am older and so are my babies. I am no longer the insecure, frightened girl I was then. I still feel lonely at times as I try to carve a niche for myself in this new home, but just like before my children bring me joy and happiness. Now I delight in the happy sounds of the girls pretending in the upstairs loft. They brighten my day with beautiful drawings and pictures all over the house. I smile as Porter makes neighing sounds while helping Woody ride on his trusty steed. No matter what changes or where I live I will always take with me what matters most.