When I was in 6th grade my parents and I moved from Burley, Idaho to Ashton, Idaho. We had lived in Burley two years and I had one good friend who had been to my home less times that I could count on one hand. Burley was hard for me. So when I learned that we were moving, I was so nervous. If I only had only made one friend in two years, how long would it take me to make friends in a new place? Turns out my worries were justified. It took me a year to make a friend in Ashton. My only friend during that lonely time was my amazing teacher, Mrs. Hamilton.
Making friends kind of reminds me of Jr. High dances. Everyone sits on the bleachers in nervous anticipation, wanting to dance but waiting to be asked. The first phases of friendship are its own awkward dance. Do I call, do I not call? Do I text? Should I just stop over to say hi? What if the phone call isn't returned, do I try again? Why is it so hard? Insecurities? Self-preservation? Fear of opening up to someone only to have it thrown in your face? Yep. But still the need to share a part of myself with someone who cares is so strong. I want those chats on the phone about taking care of sick kids and how gross it was, the funny thing my husband did, the deeper conversations about the Gospel and my growth in it. Husbands are wonderful confidants, but sometimes they just don't care about make-up or throw up. That's a girls job. So I guess today I am allowing myself one day to have a pity party, to miss my friends who shared these things and so much more with me.
Then, tomorrow I think I will walk across the street and say "hi." Because I am sick of sitting on that bleacher waiting to be asked.
6 comments:
Well said, my beloved sister-in-law. Well said. All I can say is, "I second that...all of it." And I love you very much :) Hang in there. I'm in the same phase-new ward, all new people. Transition is hard. Hugs.
I would love to have those conversations with you!!! I wish we were closer, but phone calls are good too! it would be nice to just walk across the street and have those chats...:( You said it very well though. New situations are just hard, unc-comfortable and scary. It took us awhile in this new ward...we've been here 6 months and while everyone is super friendly...we haven't really made "friends" if that makes any sense. We have good neighbors but they are all older too. I find it funny, like you said...our insecurities can hold us back just like in Jr. High if we let them. Hope you find and make some good friends close to you!
Good for you! It for sure takes guts to go meet new people. I know you can do it! :)
It was easy as pie to be your friend. You were fun to talk to, fun to hang out with, fun to go get snow cones with, and really fun to have coloring contests with!!! We had a ton of fun in Rexburg. You guys totally inspired us to move to...what was that place called again? Wow, it's been awhile I can't even remember where we lived in Rexburg! Anyway, you are one of those friends that is a keeper. We know you two will always be in our hearts, no matter how far away we live. And...we'll be back in Idaho this summer. WE MUST SEE EACH OTHER OKAY?!!
I have been having those very thoughts about calling you. It is silly I know. But I worry about it being a good time, what if you are busy and I am just bugging you. One might think that I could just get over it especially since we have been friends since our moms were pregnant with us. You have always been more of a sister than a friend. I am going to call.
I think Utah is just one of those places where it takes a while to feel like you fit in. I'm having the same problems, so not much advice from me...but, I can send you some encouragement and hugs! :) Next time I'm down your way I'll come chat again! Good luck!
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